Plot Holes
by Oneshadedarker
Summary: And to think, the entire mess began with a plot hole …then again…this was Kingdom Hearts [blinkandyoumissit Axel x Demyx][Zexion x Roxas] [Marluxia x Larxene] [Saïx x ?]


**Title: **Plot Holes...Or How The Organization Discovered Portals

**Character(s)**: Most of the Organization members, or at least the ones I felt deserved to suffer.

**Warnings: **Mentions of boys love (both consensual and non O.O) and abused Dusks…how sad.

**Rating:** T

**Words: **943

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts and make no profit from its name and characters.

**A/N: **This originally began as the prelude to another one-shot I was writing but took on a mind of its own. I thought it would be nice to explain where portals came from. It was a fun way to spend an afternoon if nothing else. Hope you all like. Enjoy.

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One of the most deceptive misconceptions about Castle Oblivion was its size. Regardless of how large the castle appeared on the outside_ inside_ it was a debacle of barely inhabitable rooms filled with random time-space portals Vexen referred to as 'unstable plot holes'. Their cause, in Vexen's humble –and degree certified opinion- was the unbalance the world thrived on, trying to exist in both the material universe and in the nothingness near Kingdom Hearts, it was inevitable that one of the four walls of logic cave in at some random point. And they, being instinct impaired idiots –again, his humble opinion- were feeling the aftershocks of the collapse. 

It had been an overlooked fact for no one had actually _seen_ said plot holes, the only proof of their existence being when a conga line of Heartless casually walked by, usually following a random Dusk they would fight/rape (Or as Axel liked to call it _surprise sex_) and then disappear. It wasn't so much of a problem as an inconvenience (half the Dusks were on maternity leave as it was) until the fateful day Saïx accidentally stepped into a materializing portal on the floor, falling into the time-space continuum for nearly a week. The day he came back he'd only walked into the conference room, murmured something about the tenth floor basement (to which the collective thought was _'There's a basement?'_) and locked himself in his room, taking up all of the hot water with sporadic showers, rubbing his skin raw and, honestly, no one wanted to know the reasoning behind it.

Still, it was swept under the carpet and the cadaver remained still for a couple of days (had they known any better, they would have realized that trying to keep something dead in a group of Nobodies was an oxymoron) until the portals claimed their next victim (or victims in this case). For nearly two days Zexion and Roxas had been missing (Axel had bet that Roxas had probably been waiting for the bitch to drop so he could escape) and Zexion, being naturally quiet, was probably in his room and no one had noticed.

Xigbar was the one to eventually find them (being the only one immune to the laws of physics, what with being able to stand on walls at ninety degree angles so plot holes held no bearing on him). His report stated that they had been locked in the dungeon doing what Axel called _'The five finger discount'_ and going into elaborative details about how it had nothing to do with shoplifting and everything to do with Roxas on his knees and a pallid Zexion trying to understand how someone can physically move their fingers like that. Xemnas had boiled his hand (and would have burned his eyes if he didn't need them for survival) after reading said report.

By the third incident (Marluxia and Larxene had wound up trapped in the seventh floor storage closet, to which most conversation revolved around _Move and I will kill you, breathe and I will kill you, get anywhere near me and I will kill you…You know what, I might just kill you for the hell of it actually_) that Xemnas reluctantly agreed to meet with Maleficent and see if they couldn't find some sort of solution to the entire matter.

One week later found the incident resolved (in exchange for a hand painted portrait of herself done by Naminé - to which the others had laughed because Naminé's drawing skills could be compared to a five year old with ADD on crack- and one fourth of the castle's property –they gave her the basement at Saïx's insistence and Xemnas chose not to ask questions because anything that could scare Saïx was probably better left in Maleficent's side of the court-) and soon, everything fell back into normalcy. The plot holes stopped, the Heartless stopped –a collective sigh of relief for every Dusk with a pelvis- and the Organizations members could actually walk around without threat of falling into a rat's maze of nothingness.

Except that things became _incredibly_ boring _incredibly_ quickly for certain members of the Organization –Xigbar liked finding his fellow members in awkward positions and Axel liked the mandatory two weeks of reminding said members of their awkward positions- until the day Vexen had casually walked into the cafeteria, reminded all of them that they _were_ beings _of_ darkness with the ability to _create_ portals _of _darkness and inciting a series of shared looks and grins that were never part of anything good.

The next day Xemnas found twelve faces peering at him from above a stack of written complaints and reports, a bruised Demyx and a grinning Axel, a red faced Zexion and a mischievous Roxas, a frightened Marluxia and a furious Larxene, and Saïx…who had yet to reappear. Xigbar didn't need to be told what to do, whistling as he walked down the monochrome hallways, camera in one hand and a keychain full of master keys in the other.

Maleficent got a rather nasty letter from the Organization leader and removal of her basement privileges. She could keep the portrait though…that was punishment enough. As for the portals, well, Axel and Xigbar made sure no one could look at one of those without feeling incredibly dirty. Vexen later regretted reminding the idiots of their natural born portal producing powers but reasoned that they would have eventually discovered that Dusks didn't magically move between dimensions through positive thinking. The thought made him feel a bit better.

Until the day he fell into a portal…

…with Saïx …

…and screamed.

And to think, the entire mess began with a plot hole …then again…this was Kingdom Hearts.


End file.
